quest for harmony

I’m on leave today, Monday (yey!) because I had my warts removed last Saturday and had to refrain from washing my face for 48 hours. Good excuse for staying at home and doing nothing.

But I feel a bit restless. I feel the need to be busy. Sometimes, when I spend a day at home watching tv or looking after my kids, I feel like I have not been productive, that I could have done better with my time. When on vacation, I can not totally let go of thoughts about work or other matters. I have to struggle to be in the moment, to just enjoy the now.

So I googled “the need to be busy” and gathered the following nuggets of thoughts:

“An idle mind is not just boring, but also unhappy.”

“We all live on two things: time and money.”

“If you’re rich, it’s time that is scarce. If you’re poor, it’s the money that is scarce.”

Which got me thinking. I am definitely not rich yet I never seem to have adequate time. Big problem?

Two years ago, I resigned from my job because I felt I never had time to do the things that mattered. I took up CMA and for the first two months felt relaxed and content having no work to worry about. Apart from the CMA class every Saturday and case studies I had to answer, I had time for myself and for my first son. On the 3rd month, I started looking for a job because my savings were dwindling. We are not rich so it was not an option to be jobless indefinitely.

At that time, fresh from a stressful and demanding job, I was looking for something that promised work-life balance. It didn’t matter if the salary was lower as long as I am given the luxury of time to be with my family and to pursue other activities.

And God answered my prayers. I had a job that allowed me a day to work from home. I got to clock out earlier than usual (except during month-end close). I had time to start my blog, read books, run with my husband, cook my baon, be with my son.

Of course, the job had its own issues and I got frustrated and felt that there was no room for career progression and development. I was given the luxury of time but I felt bored and yearned for ‘prestige’. Maybe, I was proud then and not ready at that time to give up on a ‘career’.

To cut the story short, I am back at my old job. 😀

And I have yet to resolve my old issue of striving for work-life balance. This is my ongoing quest for harmony.

References:

Psychology Today

The Atlantic

Merrily we roll along, following our dreams.

I aim to be happy and successful. Big words. Am I there yet?

Career progression, continuous development, excellence, commitment, passion. Big words at work.

Time, nurture, cherish, rear, provide, guide. Big words at home.

As a working mom, everyday is a juggling act. Creating a balance is elusive. And as I strive to do good in one, I end up shortchanging the other. I am on a constant quest for harmony.

They say you always have a choice. Really? There are times it is hard to believe that. As we strive for a good life, we have to work hard but oftentimes we end up doing so much hard work, we hardly have time to live that good life we strived for in the first place. The irony of life.

So what am I to do?

For new year this year, I went to the book store in search for answers. I found The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and spent the next month reading it and trying to formulate my own project which proved to be difficult given the timing, which is my busiest season at work.

But there’s always today, a new day to choose to live a better, more meaningful, intentional and happier life.

So here goes nothing. Follow me as I, Merryli, merrily roll along, chasing my dreams for me and my family.